I Asked for One Apple, He Gave Us A Bag

Being back in VA has been the answer to many, many prayers. But the move and transition caused a strain on finances as we all started new jobs and awaited first paychecks. So needless to say money has been tight and you need money to buy food. So we have all had to eat foods that we normally would not and just try to maintain. Friday was one of those such days as one of my daughters thought she would have the means to buy groceries for the next couple of weeks, but it didn’t manifest in that way.
As I sat at work, she text me and asked what are we to do for food right now and for tonight as well. I had no answers for her except, God will provide. And with that I went for a walk on my lunch hour. That walk brought me to a bridge with a stream beneath it. As I stood and marveled at the water rushing down stream and listened to the tranquility of it, I began to pray. Then I realized that my children cannot continue to ride on my faith, it’s time for them to see God for themselves. I text both my girls and gave instructions to go into a closet, bathroom, separate room from one another and get on their knees and ask God for the provision. Remind God of His word. His Word is either true or it is a lie. And if we say we trust His Word then we must stand on it and believe what it says. And then I stood on that bridge and did the same.
I reminded God that He said in His Word that He is Jehovah Jireh, Our Provider. He said He would supply all of our needs. He said that His seed would not go begging bread. He promised these things. I did not make them up. I did not promise them. I believe Him and I believe His Word is true. We needed a miracle that only He could provide.
I went back to work and finished the day out, fully trusting that God would provide. I didn’t know how, but I trusted Him to do exactly what He said He would do. As I walked back to the office though, I said aloud, Lord I would love to bite into an apple.
After work I met up with my daughter at the grocery store. She had gotten her first paycheck for orientation and 1 day of training….$37. As we budgeted and shopped for food we know none of us likes and makes us sick, but is cheap, I checked my account once again. There was somehow $29 in that account. We were able to buy food that will last us a week. We checked the apples, but it was beyond the meager budget we had. I looked at the cart of food and declared….this is the LAST time we HAVE to shop this way or eat this way!!!! And I walked off believing that with every fiber of my being.
As we ate rotisserie chicken sandwiches and tater tots, we laughed, talked and enjoyed fellowship with one another. Afterwards, my son text (yes from the other room…lol). His girlfriend didn’t know what we needed or liked, but she had ordered us some things and they would arrive Sunday. He did not mention our need, the girls did not mention our need to anyone, and I did not mention our need to anyone either. But God in His infinite wisdom and power, He put it upon her heart to bless us.
First thing on the order….a bag of apples! YES, an entire bag of apples!!! I could only chuckle and thank God. No one knew my spoken desire.
I asked God for a bite of AN apple and He blessed us with a BAG of apples. Enough apples in that bag for each of us to have 3. God not only heard my hearts cry, He simply provided. Not because He had to, but because He love us enough and cares enough for the things that concern us that He would give me an apple.
My daughters got the opportunity to see that God not only hears us, but He provides our needs. They were able to see a tangible manifestation to THEIR prayers, not just mine.

Thank you Lord that you love us so much that you would give us something so simple as an apple. Not only do you provide our needs, you sometimes bless us with the things we want. May I never lose sight of you, the giver of the gifts. May I not be so consumed with the gifts that I forget you and all you are to me by simply being my God.

Reflections, Changes, Passions

The past few days I have watched my Pastor and his family gracefully walk through the loss of a loved one.I have peered through the windows as many others have and what I have taken away from all of them and the loved one they lost is to live my life with greatness for the Lord Jesus Christ.

I have also been watching YouTube videos by His and Her Money and trying to figure out this thing called finances. In one of their episodes, they spoke about the habits of the rich vs the habits of the poor with Tom Corley. There were many things that jumped out at me, but one such thing is that the rich read at least 30 min or more to learn and they do what they are passionate about, not what they have to do to make a paycheck.

So with these 2 things I began to realize, 1 I am NOT living a life full of greatness and worthiness of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 2 I began to ask myself what I am passionate about and what others see in me as my passions. And 3, I have never willingly read to learn, I have always read for pleasure, enjoyment, and escapement from my reality.

In 9 days I will be 47 years old. Life is steady passing me by and time has been wasted that I absolutely cannot get back. I have lived a life of mediocrity, fear, and now of regret. Over the last 5 days I have begun to re-evaluate my life and what I am doing and how I am living, the example I have been for my children and the legacy I am creating for the generations to come after me.

To say I got depressed for a moment would be an understatement. I have literally wasted 47 years of my life not living up to my full potential, but more than that, not living up to the fullness and purpose that God created me for. However, this I know, it is never too late to begin. And as Joel 2:25, God will make up to me for the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust, and the gnawing locust. God can do the impossible, including restore to me the years that I have wasted, given away, or that have been stolen from me.

Now for this half of my life, I must act with urgency and make the most of the time God allots for me. I have much to make up for and only God knows how long He has given me. I have things to change for myself, my children, and my grandson and any future grand-children.
I have to get out of debt and stop being a slave to others…which is essentially what debt does to you. I want to go after my passions and not just work to make a paycheck. Yes, I know that for now I must work to pay my bills, but I can also work towards learning all I can regarding my passions so that when I switch my career to walk in my passions I will at least know what I am doing and what I am talking about. I have things to change and I don’t have much time.

So with all of this, I began to question what am I passionate about? And how do I get out of debt? How do I live my best life now? What will I do to reach these answers?
How do I live my best life now? Keep seeking God and He will walk with me and equip me to live my life to the fullest. I have to be in the moment, live on purpose, and be intentional about all that I am doing.

What am I passionate about? Well, I felt that I was passionate about sewing and gardening, but to make sure that I was not biased, I asked a few people in my life that are pretty close to me and know me rather well; my daughter, sister and best friend. They all said the same thing….sewing/gardening, along with God, my family, my children, my nieces/nephews, clean eating, teaching others, and so forth. My dream job is to work for myself doing those first 2 things, gardening/sewing. So now that those things have been identified, I can begin to read for the sole purpose of learning those things as well as reading more to learn more about God and drawing closer to Him.

How to get out of debt? I have been watching His and Her Money & Alyssa Nicole on YouTube. I am writing out my vision and plans so that I can begin to implement them into my day to day financial life. I am noticing that some of the things they speak about are things I had begun to do while in Virginia and had no idea it was a strategy to getting out of debt. I just knew it was working for me and I was indeed slowly climbing out of debt. I was on the right path and had no idea it was a thing others were actually doing and using to become debt free as well.

Don’t ever think that it’s too late and time has run out for you to make changes. As long as God gives you breath, you have time to start now and make changes. You can still live your best life now, you have to be willing to work for it and you may have to make some sacrifices for it, but it IS possible. Don’t let another moment pass you by, don’t walk in another moment of regret. God has not called you home so live today like there is no tomorrow and you have a job to accomplish before He does.

Encountering God

To say that service was good this morning would be an understatement. It was definitely a message that answered lots of questions for me that I had asked just last week during my quiet time.
Many times as Christians we blame the enemy for some things that God himself has allowed. He allows us to be boxed into corners sometimes or caught between a rock and a hard place so that we can come to the end of ourselves and realize that God is our answer and deliverer. This has been true for me over the last 6 months. I thought I was in the middle of His will. I thought I had heard clearly from Him to do certain things and once I did them, nothing happened as I had anticipated it to.

In Exodus 14 we find the Israelites leaving Egypt after the plagues were brought upon all of the Egyptians. God first does not allow them to take the shorter route to the promised land so that they would not be tempted to return to Egypt at any time. So they are out in the wilderness along the long route that causes them to come up against the Red Sea in front of them and Pharaoh and his army behind them. The Lord hardens Pharaoh’s heart (made him more rebellious than he already was). God hardened his heart so that His will, purpose, and plan could be fulfilled.

Pharaoh sees that the Israelites are basically in a cul de sac. The only way out is the way they entered in. It is in the cul de sac of their situation that they experience an encounter with God. The Israelites cry out to God and yet they complain to Moses…”you should have left us in Egypt to be slaves and die there. We told you to leave us alone and let us be, we were fine being slaves”. (my translation)

Moses tells them to not fear? To stand by and see the salvation of the Lord. Yet the Lord replies to Moses ” Why are YOU crying out to Me? Tell the sons of Israel to go forward. Moses was preaching the truth but he himself was also scared. So as they were complaining to him and He was speaking confident truth to them, he too was also afraid. Sometimes we have to do things afraid even while we are confident the Lord will make a way or fight the battle.

The Israelites were in the middle of the will of God and they were confronted with a dilemma. It is often that way for us as well. We hear from God and we are in the middle of His will for our lives and yet it seems all hell breaks loose. It is in the dilemma that we have that encounter with God and experience Him in ways we could not have imagined.

The Israelites cried out to God, but they also complained to Moses at the same time. We tend to do the same. Get caught in a dilemma and we are crying out to God, yet we call our girlfriends on the phone or meet up for coffee and pour out our complaints about what our kids are doing, our spouses, or the hard hearted boss we have. We get others to speak into our misery and chime in with their 2 cents. We can’t cry out to God AND complain to man at the same time. In verse 14 Moses tells them, “the Lord will fight for you while you keep silent”. In other words….SHUT UP!!!!!!
Cry out to God and if you “need” to speak to someone, find someone who will help you to see God’s perspective. (which means, they too must be chasing after God and in His presence on a daily basis, not just on Sunday morning).

Then God tells the Israelites to go forward. Faith is in your feet and not in your feelings. When God tells you to move forward, have faith to do just that and know that even though His instructions may not make sense, it is when we operate in faith that the miracles come forth, the supernatural takes place. Until God see’s you operate in faith, He will do nothing.
So as they go forward, the wind begins to blow and the sea splits causing a wall of water on each side and the ground to dry. They are then able to walk across the middle of the sea.
They experienced an encounter with God that allowed them to see the mighty power of the Lord in their dire situation.

So what I thought was isolation from the enemy at first was just that. However, God told me at the beginning of this fast to be quite and seek His face. As I have done that in just this first week, I have seen the power of the Lord in my situation and new hope to blossom. I will cry out to Him and shut up talking to others about the dilemma the Lord has allowed me to be in and while He has given no directions yet, I will stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. When He tells me to move forward, I must be ready and be obedient to take the steps He directs me to.

I hope this has blessed you as much as it blessed me. Leave your comments below. I’d be more than happy to pray for you if you’d like to leave your prayer requests in the comments as well.

God Bless!!!

Struggling and being honest about it…

As Christian’s we see so many putting on facades and masks. Pretending that all is well in their world while struggling in silence and behind closed doors…alone.
I for one am tired of wearing the masks. I’m tired of pretending that I am more than human. I’m tired of painting on a smile when deep down the pain and hurt are real and it takes the very breath out of me.
How can we heal if we continue to “Fake It Until We Make It?”
I am a believer in Christ. I am a Christ follower. I struggle in my faith and in my walk. What does this mean? Does it mean because I struggle that it makes me any less of a Christian or any less saved? I don’t believe that to be the case.
If we look at Scripture, we can see that Moses struggled in his faith, Peter struggled in his faith, Job struggled, David, and many more. It didn’t make them any less Christian, but it did make them real and people that we could relate to.
Sadness, grief, loneliness, depression, they are all oh so real, and I for one am no longer willing to Fake it until I make it! It’s a nice little slogan, but it’s the very thing that can cause someone to commit suicide while they struggle in silence alone.

Hi, my name is Tasha and I am struggling. I Love the Lord, but I am struggling with reading His Word and praying. Sometimes the only thing that comes forth from my lips is “Jesus”. Sometimes I can’t say anything at all and the tears hold all of my words.

I’m struggling with depression. Depression over the loss of my marriage, depression that I am in a state I don’t want to be in and the lack of funds and job security to get to where I want to be. Depression that my son, my only son, just spent his first Thanksgiving alone, not by his choice, but by the choices I made.

I’m struggling with anger. Anger that I have no control over circumstances at times. Anger towards God for not changing things the way I think they should go. Anger that even when He sees us making the mistakes and knows we are willingly falling into pitfalls, He does not steer us out or away from them.

There are days I don’t wish to get out of bed. Days when it takes everything within me to even brush my teeth. There are days when my emotional eating doesn’t stop or days when I don’t eat at all.

I am human. It doesn’t change my standing with God. I am still saved and still a Christian. Even in taking off the masks, I know that God is still God and in control. He is the Master Painter of the masterpiece portrait of my life. He said in this world we would have troubles. Christianity does not negate the fact that we are a fallen people residing in a fallen world. Even when I’m struggling with depression, don’t want to do life, or can’t bring myself to utter a prayer or read His truths, He is still God, He is still good, and He is still for me. His best for me is still THE best for me. No matter what I want, I still don’t see as BIG as He sees for me. My desires, wants, dreams, hopes, are still small and in a box, compared to what He has in mind for me.

Spending Time With God

It’s been way too long. I’m making it a goal in this New Year to be more purposeful with posting on a regular basis. I’ve done this before and surely I can do it again.

Without further ado, let’s get right into my topic. How do you spend more time with God or are you daily looking back wishing you had spent more time with God? I spent some time with God in 2016, but not nearly as much as I had hoped when I looked back over my year. What I don’t want is to look back over 2017 and wish I had again.

So what happens when we don’t spend good quality time with God? Though He never leaves us, He does seem distant from us. The relationship is not nearly as strong as it could be. Think of your earthly relationships. You have people in your life that you spend time with daily or if you’re single at least several times throughout the week. Yet you also have those relationships that you don’t cultivate nearly as often and though you still have some type of relationship it may not be as strong as it could be.

How do we spend time with God? He’s not physically here with us, so exactly how do we do it? We do it by reading His Word and getting to know Him (He already knows us) and through prayer (simple conversation). Some people do these things for hours at a time, some of us may only have 15 min. at a time throughout our day. Whatever the case may be, the goal is to do something.

Now this has to be meaningful time, not just something to check off of a list to say that you did it. You have to desire it. If you don’t desire it, it’s just going to feel like a chore that you have to do daily and chores can become boring to the point that you begin to dread doing them until finally you slack off doing them or they suffer to some degree when you do them.

I love God with everything in me. I desperately want to know Him and have Him as an active member in my life. I don’t want it to seem that the only time I go to Him is when I need or want something. So for me, it’s a desire that can’t be quenched. I want more of Him. And the more I get, the more I want.

So I’ve started my year out with a fast that tends to get me back on track with my hearts desire. I’ve created a routine for myself for Monday – Friday, the weekends are a bit more lax since I don’t have to go to work. Each morning I get up 15-30 minutes earlier to not only get prepared for work and to get my smoothie made, but to have at least 15 min. of quiet time in prayer and in His Word and then I’m out the door and off to work. Once I arrive home in the evening it’s shower, dinner, prepare meals for the following day, and I sit for an hour afterwards for a little down time; at least for now it’s down time. About 30 minutes before I’m ready to head to my room, I steep my tea so that it’s ready to drink when I climb in bed. Then it’s tea time and more quiet time in His Word and prayer. While I’m fasting, I’ve also gotten off all social media.

SAY WHAT????

Shocking huh? LOL, well for me it really wasn’t that hard. I’m not a huge fan of social media to begin with. I prefer quality time with people and talking with people versus social media. I also enjoy my sewing, quilting, and gardening time. 😉

So I simply make time for God. And I say simply because it is as simple as a choice. We make time for what we love. So choose what you want in this life. Choose what is important to you and prepare/plan a way to make it happen. In a sense, you are the captain of your ship (life) and you get to decide which way your life goes…to a degree.

I hope this has been helpful for you and that maybe it sparked something within your heart, a yearning, a desire for more of God!

Please share some of the ways you make time to spend with God.

See you in the next post!