It’s January 2018, I’ve been fasting and spending more time with the Lord this past week and enjoying His sweet presence and anointing. It has truly been missed. Not by anything the Lord has done but absolutely by me walking away and not trusting that He is my everything.
Fear and depression. Somehow they seem to go hand in hand. They have both kept me bound and distant from God. Isolation, the greatest tactic of the enemy. Fear kept me believing that God will not do what He said He would do in His word. Fear that I would never get back to Virginia. Fear that my relationship with my daughters will forever be damaged. Fear that my husband and I will get divorced. Fear that God would not be all that He said He would be to me. Fear……leads to depression. Depression kept me in a pit of darkness. Depression kept me silent and unable to pray, let alone praise the Lord and worship.
Hope, deliverance, freedom, light. All that you feel once you are in the presence of the Holy One. Solemn assembly begins at our church the first Sunday of each new year. It consists of fasting from a meal or activities from that first Sunday to the second Sunday. Each day is a focus on something specific. I also listen to Warrior Nation each morning via Facebook or Instagram. Warrior Nation is doing a 40 day fast that began on the 2nd of January. For both of these I started on Monday the 8th. I will be fasting 40 days and consuming water, smoothies, and juices only. I’ll then transition to the Daniel Fast for 21 days. I am not on any social media at this time either, except for the 5:45 am prayer on Facebook/Instagram with Warrior Nation. It’s been liberating to just be in God’s presence. And it is His presence that has given me new hope and freedom. He has given me victory when all seemed lost.
And it is because of His presence, that I have finally let go.
I’m ok if He never restores my marriage. I’m ok if my daughters never move to Virginia with me. I simply want to live and enjoy life. Travel and see the world. Eat healthy and enjoy this lifestyle I’m diving into to be the healthiest me I can be. Living out my dreams and being joyful and full of peace.
This time with the Lord has put me in a place of thanksgiving. When I think of all that He has done, I can’t help but thank Him. I can’t wait to see what the Lord does to me, in me, and through me during the remaining 55 days of this fast. I am filled with hope, expectation, and praise. And all in all, I’m good, real good!!!