God has really used the current situation with my Pastor’s niece passing to get my attention and I have been able to focus on the things that are most important.
This morning before work I was able to have my quiet time with the Lord. It was partly sorrowful as I prayed for the Pitts & Evans family and then there was much gratitude and rejoicing. I’ve gotten back in the habit of journaling this year and it’s freeing to write out my thoughts and prayers to the Lord and release them and let them go. I was able to look back on the ways I have wasted the last 365 days wallowing in self pity and depression over things that I did myself or circumstances I had no control over at all. I thought I learned from losing my mother and my nephew to not focus on the minors of life, but to keep my eyes on the major things in life; building relationships, making memories, living life to it’s fullest, and doing life like there is no tomorrow. I made a declaration after my great depression with the loss of my mother that I would live and not die, just as God’s Word says. But I, like most people, allowed life to throw distractions and obstacles in my way. My focus got off. I took off God’s glasses and began to look through my human eyes again.
Death is tragic and the Bible says we should rejoice at death and mourn at birth. However, we typically do it the other way around. I totally understand why we should mourn at birth….part of me does with each one. These innocent babes are born into this dark, dark world and they will be faced with oh so much. And when there is a death, that person has stepped into the presence of the Lord and the cares of this world are no more for them. They are in perfect peace, a new body. It’s hard to think that way though when you are faced with it in that very moment.
What death has done for me over the past 8 1/2 years was to shake me by the shoulders to realize that tomorrow is promised to no one. Every breath is a gift. Not to sweat the small stuff. Trust God with EVERYTHING. and to Lean on God for all things and in all things. To stop being in such a rush. To focus on the people in my life that are more important than the things of this world.
I just heard a lady explain this and I am floored because of the truth that she spoke. The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy. But the reality is he is not after our things, he is after our worship, and if he can get us to question God and accuse God for the things going wrong in our lives then he can say see they don’t love you and they don’t worship you God. But even in the loss of my Pastor’s niece, with the car accident and having to come up with the money to get the car fixed, with the delay in returning to VA, with a marriage that is broken and dead, with dreams that are dead, I will lift my hands and worship my Savior. He is worthy of my praise. My God is good even when all things around me are falling apart and I’m struggling with broken dreams, a dying marriage, delayed plans, finances down the tube, and questions swirling in my head. I serve a BIG, BIG God and He is in total control!! There is nothing He cannot do, there is no mountain He won’t climb for me, and no enemy He won’t fight for me.